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Titel: SV: Question about custom of visiting relatives to introduce the fiancé or fiancée
Skrivet av: Klas Wallén skrivet 2021-08-10, 12:39
Hi Linda!

In the past when a boy and a girl (at least among wealthier farmers) were to be married the boy could send a "böneman" who represented him, to the "giftoman" who was responsible for the girl (often her father). If they could agree the boy himself could visit them, often with the "böneman" and continue the negotiations. If they then agreed, especially about the dowry, the couple could be engaged. Once engaged and rings exchanged they could have sex. The Church law from 1686 did not forbid engaged couples to have sex and children born during engagement counted as lawful. Because of that I can not see any problem with two young engaged travelling around visiting relatives before the marriage but I do not think it was common among most people on the countryside. In Cities, especially second half of the 19th Century, there must have been other traditions/norms. It was actually pretty ok to live together without being married, at least in Stockholm.
So when your husbands ancestor lived in USA it would probably be normal for her to travel to her mother and brother because they lived in other Cities. I also guess that they were engaged.

May I ask you where she came from in Sweden?

Good luck with your research

Klas